this comforter doesn't comfort me

i woke up at 4 in the afternoon

my eyes aren't closing

my body isn't resting

i fell asleep at 11 this morning

i tried to find you

instead of your ghost

if i asked him to, he'd spend the night

wide awake staring at the ceiling, i won't let go

of someone else

desperate to find some familiarity in the past

lovers & friends

who left & found their way back

only to leave again

i'm leaving too, except

i don't want to but i can't stay

restless, sleepless

& colourless in my dreams

that are taunting me, threatening

i'm nothing more than a ransom note

scribbled away as a promise of good things to come

a write-off to her happiness

i wonder if it's worth the struggle of negotiation

to find it doesn't exist

or create mine

plain & simple, the sun lost its heat in this heat wave

i can't feel a thing

sunstroke, silence, satire

3 things life after you brings

there's no exchange policy,

refunded denial of our mortality

let that be a lesson in longing

lessen the loss

what passes, came

you get what you give

take my faith, have my hope

both have seen better days

& make a mockery of yourself

i'd rather be a fool

than fool a soul by saying we have one